The Rise of Luther Grimes
By James Quillian,Economist, Political Analyst, Natural Law

There was a world‑champion hog caller named Luther Grimes. He traveled the countryside winning first‑place prize money in every contest he entered. Folks said he was unbeatable. Luther didn’t brag about it, but he was making a fine living calling hogs from one end of the state to the other.

One day a newsman stuck a microphone in his face and asked, “Luther, what’s your secret? You get those pigs excited and enthusiastic. They run to you like their lives depend on it. And all they ever get is one Oreo cookie — more often nothing at all. Do you have some kind of supernatural power?”

Luther shook his head. “No supernatural powers. It’s just technique. You must have both power and appeal in your voice. You must convince the pigs you’ve got something for them.”

That was all he said, and he meant it.

Luther lived in a fine home in an upper‑class neighborhood, where he enjoyed quiet evenings with his wife, Birdie, and their children. Birdie was sharp — the kind of woman who could see the whole picture before most folks even noticed there was a picture.

One day she came to Luther with an idea.

“Why not try your hog‑calling technique on human beings?”

Luther didn’t need convincing. He knew Birdie was onto something. They decided he should work as a carnival barker for a few weeks to test the idea.

It worked even better on people than it ever had on pigs.

From there, Luther ran for city council and won in a landslide. His income tripled almost overnight, even though the council job paid next to nothing.

Then he ran for state senate. Won. Ran for U.S. Senate. Won again. Eventually he ran for president of the United States — and the country carried him into office like he was the answer to every prayer ever prayed.

Everyone loved Luther Grimes. He became the nation’s role model. People admired him, trusted him, and were convinced he deserved every dollar he accumulated while “serving humanity.”

After all, Luther had told the truth from the beginning:

You must convince the pigs you’ve got something for them.